Teenzoglit is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, selfish donkey.

Teenzoglit created the Whirlpool Galaxy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Teenzoglit, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Teenzoglit, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Teenzoglit's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Teenzoglit's Holy Commandments

1. Always help manatees.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not take Teenzoglit's name in vain.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.