Quarttarcip is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, self-assured newt.

Quarttarcip created light six billion years ago.

If you believe in Quarttarcip, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Quarttarcip, he will make you grow a tail.

Quarttarcip's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Quarttarcip's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Quarttarcip four times a day.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Foxes are not to be trusted.

4. You must never eat pineapples.

5. Sharks are unholy and should not be approached.