Rigsafkanquag is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, fussy troll.

Rigsafkanquag created tapeworms three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rigsafkanquag, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Rigsafkanquag, it will make you grow a tail.

Rigsafkanquag's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Rigsafkanquag's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention geese.

2. Hide if seven nematodes approach from the south.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never run in the presence of horses.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.