Farstigbogyak Bagdunkop is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, prudent swallow.

Farstigbogyak Bagdunkop created a charm quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Farstigbogyak Bagdunkop, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Farstigbogyak Bagdunkop, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Farstigbogyak Bagdunkop's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Farstigbogyak Bagdunkop's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Always obey Farstigbogyak Bagdunkop's priests.