Manflatquim is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, unselfish giraffe.

Manflatquim created bats nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Manflatquim, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Manflatquim, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Manflatquim's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Manflatquim's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate hamsters.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Always treat sharks with great respect.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Hide if nine voles approach from the west.