Larnhatbog is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, stupid goose.

Larnhatbog created tapeworms two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larnhatbog, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Larnhatbog, she will not care.

Larnhatbog's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Larnhatbog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate porpoises.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Always treat cats with great respect.

5. Never bounce in the presence of monkeys.