Dissnartciss is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, duplicitous clam.

Dissnartciss created Africa two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dissnartciss, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Dissnartciss, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Dissnartciss' most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Dissnartciss' Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Dissnartciss loves great tits, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not take Dissnartciss' name in vain.