Zak is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, omnipotent dryad.

Zak created a charm quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zak, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Zak, she will turn you into a rat.

Zak's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Zak's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Always help sick manatees.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not laugh in public.

5. Never write about black holes.