Latzimtifdap is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, thoughtless dragon.

Latzimtifdap created life eight million years ago.

If you believe in Latzimtifdap, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Latzimtifdap, he will turn you into a goat.

Latzimtifdap's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Latzimtifdap's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate ants.

2. Never paint your hands black.

3. Erect a large iron sculpture of Latzimtifdap on top of all buildings.

4. Erect three platinum sculptures of Latzimtifdap on top of important buildings.

5. Feed all hungry whales.