Nilnakstrag is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, awe-inspiring slug.

Nilnakstrag created Mount Everest five billion years ago.

If you believe in Nilnakstrag, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Nilnakstrag, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Nilnakstrag's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Nilnakstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Nilnakstrag's priests.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not speak about apples.

5. Do not drink water in blue rooms.