Febtettidiss Pad is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, wise crab.

Febtettidiss Pad created a bottom quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Febtettidiss Pad, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Febtettidiss Pad, it will refuse to believe in you.

Febtettidiss Pad's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Febtettidiss Pad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never wear scarves.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not take Febtettidiss Pad's name in vain.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Febtettidiss Pad.