Gepbif is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, blissful swan.

Gepbif created a down quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Gepbif, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gepbif, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Gepbif's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Gepbif's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your hands mauve.

2. Do not kill otters.

3. Never think about gravity.

4. Never sit in the presence of grasshopers.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.