Jintetti is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, flying penguin.

Jintetti created the world three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jintetti, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Jintetti, she will destroy your favourite star.

Jintetti's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Jintetti's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Rats are not to be trusted.

3. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Jintetti on top of all buildings.

4. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Jintetti.