Tabwan Latcunomt Miflamnut is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, pitiless ferret.

Tabwan Latcunomt Miflamnut created the Sun three million years ago.

If you believe in Tabwan Latcunomt Miflamnut, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tabwan Latcunomt Miflamnut, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Tabwan Latcunomt Miflamnut's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Tabwan Latcunomt Miflamnut's Holy Commandments

1. Hamsters are not to be trusted.

2. You must pray to Tabwan Latcunomt Miflamnut five times a day.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate voles.

4. Tabwan Latcunomt Miflamnut must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not speak about strawberries.