Bemjopneg is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, unthinking swan.

Bemjopneg created the Whirlpool Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Bemjopneg, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bemjopneg, it will not care at all.

Bemjopneg's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Bemjopneg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat peas.

2. Do not hurt squirrels.

3. Bemjopneg loves horses, so they must be honoured.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not stand on grass.