Hasshavflow is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, competent newt.

Hasshavflow created humanity two billion years ago.

If you believe in Hasshavflow, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Hasshavflow, he will jump up and down on your head.

Hasshavflow's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Hasshavflow's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear shirts.

2. Do not run in public.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not take Hasshavflow's name in vain.