Flowtargbig is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, omniscient hamster.

Flowtargbig created silver five million years ago.

If you believe in Flowtargbig, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Flowtargbig, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Flowtargbig's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Flowtargbig's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate porpoises.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never mention nematodes.

4. Do not eat rice.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Flowtargbig.