Gedsaw Fotladlip is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, unselfish goose.

Gedsaw Fotladlip created humanity eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gedsaw Fotladlip, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gedsaw Fotladlip, she will turn you into a rat.

Gedsaw Fotladlip's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Gedsaw Fotladlip's Holy Commandments

1. Gedsaw Fotladlip loves bats, so they must be respected.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Gedsaw Fotladlip.

3. Always help swans.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not shave your arms.