Metzagflamomt is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, awe-inspiring fairy.

Metzagflamomt created dark energy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Metzagflamomt, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Metzagflamomt, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Metzagflamomt's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Metzagflamomt's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at moons.

2. Do not sit in public.

3. You must pray to Metzagflamomt three times a day.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not hurt hamsters.