Yartpigstik is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, moody warg.

Yartpigstik created the Sol system nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yartpigstik, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Yartpigstik, he will turn you into a mole.

Yartpigstik's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Yartpigstik's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Yartpigstik.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Always obey Yartpigstik's priests.