Vadstanlap is a god.

He takes the form of a small, dishonest manatee.

Vadstanlap created an electron nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Vadstanlap, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Vadstanlap, he will ignore you.

Vadstanlap's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Vadstanlap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Tortoises are not to be trusted.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never mention grasshopers.

5. Never play with disobedient children.