Fitkipmil is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, intelligent squirrel.

Fitkipmil created the Sun nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fitkipmil, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Fitkipmil, it will remove you from existence.

Fitkipmil's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Fitkipmil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear purple clothing.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Do not dye your hair pink.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

5. Never think about gravity.