Timmetren is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, proud elephant.

Timmetren created Mount Everest nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Timmetren, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Timmetren, it will turn you into a mouse.

Timmetren's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Timmetren's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Always help nematodes in need.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate turtles.

5. Never talk about shrews.