Rapwiphog is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, humorless beaver.

Rapwiphog created the Sun three billion years ago.

If you believe in Rapwiphog, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Rapwiphog, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Rapwiphog's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Rapwiphog's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat rice.

2. Never laugh in holy places.

3. Retreat if seven pigs approach from the north.

4. Do not trade with those who eat wheat.

5. Always pray immersed in water.