Yarlnatmis is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, charitable troll.

Yarlnatmis created Europe two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarlnatmis, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Yarlnatmis, it will destroy your favourite star.

Yarlnatmis' most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Yarlnatmis' Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not sing in public.

5. Do not kill birds.