Ominbafgof Rutpomten is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, unfair toad.

Ominbafgof Rutpomten created energy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ominbafgof Rutpomten, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Ominbafgof Rutpomten, it will turn you into a hamster.

Ominbafgof Rutpomten's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Ominbafgof Rutpomten's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three voles approach from the north.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

3. Worship no other gods but Ominbafgof Rutpomten.

4. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Ominbafgof Rutpomten loves otters, so they must be honoured.