Cimcimyarrutt is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, smart skunk.

Cimcimyarrutt created carbon seven million years ago.

If you believe in Cimcimyarrutt, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Cimcimyarrutt, she will turn you into a tree.

Cimcimyarrutt's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Cimcimyarrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

2. Do not wear cyan clothing.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Cimcimyarrutt.

4. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.