Likyartduss Rullfotkad is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, awesome jaguar.

Likyartduss Rullfotkad created vertebrates three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Likyartduss Rullfotkad, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Likyartduss Rullfotkad, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Likyartduss Rullfotkad's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Likyartduss Rullfotkad's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine nematodes approach from the west.

2. Likyartduss Rullfotkad loves turtles, so they must be honoured.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never sing in holy places.