Futkancudmig is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, boastful naga.

Futkancudmig created a charm quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Futkancudmig, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Futkancudmig, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Futkancudmig's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Futkancudmig's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Futkancudmig on top of all buildings.

2. Never laugh near snakes.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Put Futkancudmig first in all things.