Rowgemwan is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, slow bird.

Rowgemwan created a bottom quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rowgemwan, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Rowgemwan, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Rowgemwan's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Rowgemwan's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not eat onions.

3. Always treat tapirs with great respect.

4. You must pray to Rowgemwan eight times a day.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.