Metflynat Nurtwanlarp is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, merciful elephant.

Metflynat Nurtwanlarp created the planet Venus three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Metflynat Nurtwanlarp, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Metflynat Nurtwanlarp, he will turn you into a sheep.

Metflynat Nurtwanlarp's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Metflynat Nurtwanlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not kill aardvarks.

3. Do not trade with those who eat lentils.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not stand on grass.