Farnminkik is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, tranquil tortoise.

Farnminkik created snails two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Farnminkik, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Farnminkik, he will throw large rocks at you.

Farnminkik's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Farnminkik's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about cell theory.

2. Always help sick great tits.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never paint your feet red.

5. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.