Kiplargtik is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, humorless crab.

Kiplargtik created a quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kiplargtik, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Kiplargtik, it will curse you with boils.

Kiplargtik's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Kiplargtik's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Always help sick whales.

5. Always help seals in need.