Armxucman is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, fast alligator.

Armxucman created Europe four million years ago.

If you believe in Armxucman, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Armxucman, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Armxucman's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Armxucman's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Armxucman nine times a day.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Armxucman.

3. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

4. Never think about gravity.

5. Run away from magenta birds, for they are unholy.