Parktapbotlen is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, passionate otter.

Parktapbotlen created the Black Eye Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Parktapbotlen, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Parktapbotlen, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Parktapbotlen's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Parktapbotlen's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Parktapbotlen.

2. Always obey Parktapbotlen's priests.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Worship no other gods but Parktapbotlen.

5. Do not wear gray clothing.