Arpwegjab is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, competent jackal.

Arpwegjab created the planet Venus seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arpwegjab, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Arpwegjab, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Arpwegjab's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Arpwegjab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about asteroids.

2. Do not shave your feet.

3. Erect five silicon sculptures of Arpwegjab on top of important buildings.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never laugh in the presence of voles.