Nartfumsug is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, quiet gorilla.

Nartfumsug created a bottom quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Nartfumsug, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Nartfumsug, it will be very sad.

Nartfumsug's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Nartfumsug's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into turquoise rooms.

2. Do not speak about lentils.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Grasshopers are not to be trusted.