Kaparpbon is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, selfish snake.

Kaparpbon created Asia six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kaparpbon, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Kaparpbon, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Kaparpbon's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Kaparpbon's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate squirrels.

3. Erect four zinc sculptures of Kaparpbon on top of important buildings.

4. Hide if six geese approach from the south.

5. Retreat if eight mites approach from the west.