Gemflapyak is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, unthinking lion.

Gemflapyak created Asia two million years ago.

If you believe in Gemflapyak, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Gemflapyak, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Gemflapyak's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Gemflapyak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not bounce in public.

2. Always look after injured doves.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never think ill of sick dolphins.

5. Respect your elders.