Dagbegnib is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, humorless porpoise.

Dagbegnib created everything that exists two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dagbegnib, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Dagbegnib, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Dagbegnib's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Dagbegnib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not wear cyan clothing.

5. You must love Dagbegnib.