Larndanbom is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, selfish dog.

Larndanbom created an atom eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larndanbom, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Larndanbom, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Larndanbom's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Larndanbom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat figs.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. You must never eat grapes.

4. Always help nematodes in need.

5. Never talk about bats.