Safbittun Canlooptun is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, annoying fish.

Safbittun Canlooptun created an electron three billion years ago.

If you believe in Safbittun Canlooptun, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Safbittun Canlooptun, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Safbittun Canlooptun's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Safbittun Canlooptun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. You must love Safbittun Canlooptun.

3. Erect a large lead sculpture of Safbittun Canlooptun on top of all buildings.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Never feed cucumbers to dolphins while wearing mauve kilts.