Pogteenapp is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, clever wyvern.

Pogteenapp created dark matter seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Pogteenapp, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Pogteenapp, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Pogteenapp's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Pogteenapp's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Hide if six squirrels approach from the east.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.