Flatfardumciss is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, selfish fairy.

Flatfardumciss created the solar system eight million years ago.

If you believe in Flatfardumciss, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Flatfardumciss, he will make you grow a tail.

Flatfardumciss' most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Flatfardumciss' Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Flatfardumciss.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Never skip in the presence of snakes.

5. Never wear ear rings.