Kimjarnfigxin is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, overgenerous faun.

Kimjarnfigxin created a bottom quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kimjarnfigxin, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Kimjarnfigxin, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Kimjarnfigxin's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Kimjarnfigxin's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. You must never eat wheat.

4. Put Kimjarnfigxin first in all things.

5. Do not eat apples.