Pidmonviddum is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, awesome grasshopper.

Pidmonviddum created dark energy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pidmonviddum, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Pidmonviddum, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Pidmonviddum's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Pidmonviddum's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not drink water in green rooms.

4. Never eat lentils.

5. Never look at asteroids.