Bembogmum is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, duplicitous guinea pig.

Bembogmum created gold nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bembogmum, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bembogmum, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Bembogmum's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Bembogmum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not shave your legs.

4. Do not speak about bananas.

5. Do not drink alcohol.