Veenpagtal is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, wise dugong.

Veenpagtal created water eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Veenpagtal, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Veenpagtal, he will turn you into a sheep.

Veenpagtal's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Veenpagtal's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if three cats approach from the south.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Never wear trousers.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never hurt ants.