Pomlarnfom is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, dishonourable scorpion.

Pomlarnfom created the Sun nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pomlarnfom, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Pomlarnfom, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Pomlarnfom's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Pomlarnfom's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Erect nine aluminium sculptures of Pomlarnfom on top of important buildings.

5. Always pray immersed in water.