Bimcapbest is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, self-assured lizard.

Bimcapbest created matter two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bimcapbest, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bimcapbest, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Bimcapbest's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Bimcapbest's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Always look after injured dolphins.

5. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a room before entering it.